


brendon and the chaotic gays

by patchworklove



Category: All Time Low, Fall Out Boy, I Don't Know How But They Found Me (Band), My Chemical Romance, Palaye Royale, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots, waterparks - Fandom
Genre: AND GAY, Emo, Gay, Group chat, High School, I should be sleeping, M/M, Trans, awstens ftm nonbinary, big yikes, but like if they're gone for more than a few chapters i probs forgot oops, dallon has a kid, everyone's fucked up somehow, everyone's getting into fights, everyones a mess, everything is bullshit, hi, idk what im doing, remi needs to see a doctor, some people don't rlly talk much, very gay, were all sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-06-13 08:12:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 7,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15360069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patchworklove/pseuds/patchworklove
Summary: PatrickStump: brendon wreaked havoc against the school board and wanted to complain about it so now we’re stuck here and i don’t know how to use my phone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi i hope u enjoy !!

brenurine: hi

brenurine: i made this chat bc i didn’t wanna scroll through a million messages for this chat

pweezy: PENIS

pweezy: PENIS

pweezy: PENIS

dallon: please stop,,

dallon: i’m with amelie.

pweezy: amelie is like 2 she can’t read

dallon: i wanna be a good influence to her.

pweezy: you’re friends with me that’s not gonna happen.

tyjo: what’s going on

brenurine: y’know how the school board is like up my ass bc i casted awsten as charlie price? they’re being transphobic dickheads.

PatrickStump: what did you do?

brenurine: i may or may not have cursed at them throughout the hearing and gotten expelled right at the beginning of senior year?

PatrickStump: for god’s sake brendon

PatrickStump: the board isn’t gonna take the arts seriously anymore.

not awsten: SERIOUSLY DUDE ILY BUT THIS ISNT HELPING THE PROBLEM MY MOMS PULLING ME OUT OF SCHOOL SINCE THEY KEEP CALLING ME BY MY OLD NAME ITS NOT WORTH IT

brenurine: ugh oh well it still feels good and my moms taking it well

vampireleith: i don’t know what’s happening and that’s okay 

gay way: help someone explain i actually wanna know

PatrickStump: brendon wreaked havoc against the school board and wanted to complain about it so now we’re stuck here and i don’t know how to use my phone.

frnkiero: hi i just woke up and first of all ur user is ugly, second how are u talking if u dont know how to use it  
tyjo: sit the fuck down franklin im the only one allowed to do that and it is 7pm

frnkiero: sleep doesn’t exist here.

gay way: frank you went to bed at noon you are basically living on european time

PatrickStump: am i the only one concerned that frank literally left in the middle of fourth period and slept in his car until now??

gay way: tbh not really he’s been doing that since he got a parking pass.

frnkiero: so far i haven’t been suspended bc the superintendent didn’t wanna deal with my hearing which is a relief for my mom and i.  
gay way: our school is messed up.  
PatrickStump: i wish this school system was better because i got put in regular classes when i should be taking college classes. 

pweezy: nerd

dallon: leave patrick alone let him be a nerd.

dallon: jssiwpahd dcjjfdoal

brenurine: OH MY GOD DALLON KEYSMASHED

gay way: I KNOW 

gay way: TODAY IS THE BEST DAY

gay way: JEJDJSKSKSJSJ

mikeyway: y’all are dumb amelie just grabbed his phone.

dallon: can confirm. i put her to bed now.

gay way: dammit.

mikeyway: gerard drive me to awsten’s place. i’m too lazy to drive.

gay way: fine. give me gas money though.

mikeyway: deal.

not awsten: YES OKAY OTTOS HERE TOO BUT HES IN THE SHOWER

brenurine: CAN I JOIN

not awsten: SURE

PatrickStump: i’m muting this chat now. why can’t any of us just text normally?

dallon: that’s what i’m wondering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit 1/15/19: the play written here is romeo and juliet but in further chapters it's written as kinky boots


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PatrickStump: we’re at school???
> 
> PatrickStump: how are all of you living like this??
> 
> brenurine: it’s called being gay
> 
> brenurine: the minute you’re destined to become a homosexual your life becomes messy and unorganized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi listen i forgot to put chat names at the beginning but it’s easy to figure out who everyone is lmao so i’ll make a key soon.

alienjdun: hey guys what’s up

PatrickStump: for the love of god we have so many group chats and this is the one you want to revive?! 

alienjdun: yes of course. brendon wreaking havoc is the best thing. brendon, any words?

pweezy: speech speech speech

brenurine: i’m sort of a gay hero. 

brenurine: that’s it, that’s my speech.

alienjdun: YAYYYYYYY

tyjo: patrick i can’t find emerson

PatrickStump: why are you asking me, you’re hanging out with the kropp brothers.

pirate: i want to define your bagua

vampireleith: EMERSON NOT NOW WHERE ARE YOU EVERYONE IS WORRIED

pirate: oopsie

ryro: i think that’s enough weed for today.

PatrickStump: we all have school in four hours i’m going to kick all of you for keeping me up.

PatrickStump: especially pete.

PatrickStump: mikey control your man

awg: mikey’s gone.

PatrickStump: how are you just here without any warning

awg: i come and go as i please

brenurine: title of your sextape

awg: was waiting for someone to say that, thanks bren

brenurine: i’m here for all your sextape needs

frnkiero: title of your sextape

dallon: time out time to go to bed

tyjo: you’re awake too

dallon: i have a screaming baby.

tyjo: fair.

alienjdun: how did you end up having a kid anyways?

dallon: story for another day.

dallon: ok goodnight

-

alienjdun: WAKEY WAKEY EGGS AND BAKEY

PatrickStump: i’m vegetarian.

alienjdun: WAKEY WAKEY VEGETABLES AND SADNESS

alienjdun: buy me a chicken and a goat

ryro: title of my sextape

PatrickStump: good god what’s happening 

vampireleith: sextape jokes

vampireleith: we’ve been doing these since ryan seaman joined us

vampireleith: where even is he, he hasn’t spoken here yet.

seaman: i’m here i’ve just been lurking

alienjdun: is anyone gonna buy me that chicken and goat

mikeyway: no be quiet

mikeyway: gerard i know you’re reading these get your lazy ass out of bed and take me to school

pweezy: i’ll take you to school

mikeyway: absolutely not 

alienjdun: awww true love

mikeyway removed alienjdun from the conversation

ryro has added alienjdun to the conversation 

ryro: brendon wake up i also need a ride

brenurine: wake me up

pweezy: before you go go

awg: when september ends

dallon: WAKE ME UP INSIDE

dallon: i chugged a redbull an hour ago 

dallon: my mom is very disappointed in me 

ryro: mood

underscoregeoff: same except it’s with my dad

underscoregeoff: fun fact

underscoregeoff: i don’t have a dad

PatrickStump: i am distraught over your well-being 

otto: we all are

underscoregeoff: thanks

alienjdun: i slept 30 minutes in the past week and now i can smell sounds. please kill me.

PatrickStump: we’re at school???

PatrickStump: how are all of you living like this??

brenurine: it’s called being gay

brenurine: the minute you’re destined to become a homosexual your life becomes messy and unorganized.

PatrickStump: that’s it! you’re all grounded.

PatrickStump: josh, no tv for you.

PatrickStump: gerard, no smoking for you.

PatrickStump: brendon, no texting for you.

PatrickStump: oh my god, mikey, is there even anything that you love??

mikeyway: pete.

PatrickStump: no pete for you!

pweezy: is everyone just gonna ignore the fact that mikey said he loves me?

mikeyway: i redact that statement.

mikeyway: we’re not dating.

alienjdun: you ALWAYS say that

alienjdun: you’ve been saying that since 8th grade. or, well, your 7th grade.

mikeyway: and?

alienjdun: IT HAS BEEN FOUR YEARS. 

mikeyway: and?

alienjdun: never mind...

brenurine: HELP ME PATRICKS TRYING TO GET MY PHONE

PatrickStump: I SAID NO TEXTING

PatrickStump: WE HAVE A TEST IN TEN MINUTES

PatrickStump: WHY ARE YOU TAKING AP GOVERNMENT IF YOU’RE NOT GONNA DO SHIT IN IT

alienjdun: patty swore holy shit

PatrickStump: DON’T CALL ME PATTY

vampireleith: government is a waste of time and so is education

pirate: not everyone is lucky enough to drop out to get a ged you dick

vampireleith: you’re just upset that you’re only fifteen and that you’re a junior.

dallon: that’s a good thing though?? you’re a year ahead??

vampireleith: our mom was high on ecstasy when she signed emerson up for school so she accidentally enrolled him in first grade instead of kindergarten.

vampireleith: luckily the teachers never found out about that, but emerson’s bitter that he’s not allowed to drop out yet.

vampireleith: also our mom is insane.

mikeyway: wow 

mikeyway: anyways patrick have fun with that exam

PatrickStump: AAAAAAAAAAA


	3. Chapter 3

pweezy: yo my dudes

pweezy: who’s running kinky boots now that brendon’s expelled

PatrickStump: gerard and i lmao.

pweezy: neat. 

pweezy: are you gonna hold auditions to replace charlie

PatrickStump: nope.

PatrickStump: gerard paid mikey $50 to do charlie.

PatrickStump: surprisingly he’s doing it well.

pweezy: I GET TO SEE MIKEY IN HEELS HOLY SHIT

pweezy: MIKEY 

mikeyway: goddamnit the timer ended i need to mute this again.

pweezy: WHEN WERE YOU GONNA TELL ME ABOUT BEING CHARLIE

mikeyway: never

pweezy: FUCKER

pweezy: you’re not my best friend anymore.

brenurine: i thought you and mikey were dating

mikeyway: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

mikeyway has left the conversation

gay way has added mikeyway to the conversation

gay way: IF IM SUFFERING YOU HAVE TO SUFFER WITH ME

not awsten: WE SUFFER TOGETHER OR NOT AT ALL

not awsten: ALSO PLEASE HELP ME I BLEACHED MY HEAD AND NOW MY BRAIN IS ON FIRE I AM DYING

ryro: BRENDON URIE

ryro: FACE ME YOU LITTLE SHIT

alienjdun: WHAT DID HE DO THIS TIME

ryro: THIS BITCH THINKS I DONT KNOW HOW TO ROLLERSKATE

ryro: WHORE I’M GREAT ON SKATES

brenurine: IVE NEVER SEEN YOU SKATE YOU FUCKING TITBAG

gay way: JUST APOLOGIZE YOU FREAKING TIT I SAW RYAN SKATE A FEW WEEKS AGO

gay way: RYANS NOT LYING

brenurine: ILL APOLOGIZE TO YOU IN HELL

brenurine: jk i’m sorry i love u ry !!

ryro: thank you that’s all i wanted smh

awg: what does the female vagina look like?

gay way: IM WHEEZIBG SDJJDJAJAJS

awg: i didn’t go to school yesterday and i need to catch up on homework

awg: i’m 17 and i don’t know what a freaking vagina looks like

tyjo: how ?? what about health class freshman year,,

awg: bitch opted out !

gay way: lmao it was an easy unit and pete kept screaming about dicks throughout that week

awg: i’m GAY

awg: VAGINA SCARE ME

drunkbarakat: ILL COME OVER AND SHOW YOU

awg: NO

awg has left the conversation

tyjo: he’s really scared of vagina wow

gay way: we went from kinky boots to vagina wow iconic

drunkbarakat has added awg to the conversation 

drunkbarakat: i’ll do ur homework for u

awg: yes please

awg: you’re the best boyfriend ever

drunkbarakat: alex hates tit spread the word

gay way: no wonder ur gay

gay way: everyone’s gay

not awsten: legally i’m straight

not awsten: wait no i’m not

not awsten: i keep forgetting that i got my papers changed a year ago

not awsten: the stupid school keeps deadnaming me smh

underscoregeoff: i love u sm, the school is so shitty and stupid. <3

underscoregeoff: except mr. armstrong and mr. hoppus

underscoregeoff: but other than that all of them can die for hurting my sweet bb.

gay way: y’all are the cutest omg

not awsten: THANKS GEE

not awsten: ALSO WHERES FRANK HE OWES ME 

gay way: FRANKS ASLEEP

gay way: ALSO HALLOWEEN IS IN A MONTH

awg: FUCK YEAH

pirate: REMI GIVE ME YOUR MAKEUP

vampireleith: NO

brenurine: RYAN DALLON PETE LETS COORDINATE AND BE THE TELETUBBIES

brenurine: ILL BE TINKY WINKY

dallon: i’ll think about it (but i’m gonna be dipsy)

ryro: I CALL LAA-LAA

pete: I GUESS IM PO

PatrickStump: how do all of you know the names of the teletubbies good god

brenurine: WHENEVER WE VISIT DALLON AND AMELIE I BRING OVER MY TELETUBBIES VIDEO TAPES FROM WHEN I WAS A BABY AND WERE BASICALLY A TELETUBBIES CLUB

dallon: if i can’t go awsten takes my place

not awsten: DAMMIT I WANTED TO BE LUIGI AND GEOFF BE MARIO

otto: ILL BE LUIGI IF YOURE GONNA BE A TELETUBBIE

pweezy: someone pls remind me to not use my left hand for anything.

not awsten: what about when u wanna beat ur meat?

brenurine: IM CRYING SJDJSJJDJS

PatrickStump: IM LEAVING ALL OF YOU ARE GROSS

PatrickStump has left this conversation 

pweezy has added PatrickStump to the conversation

pweezy: no can do.

pweezy: you’re all bound here for life


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ok i promise it’s not gonna be just shitposting bc i have A Lot of plans for this book

not awsten: pete you never told us what happened with your left hand

pweezy: it’s broken

pweezy: i was trying to do a handstand 

pweezy: i haven’t gone to the hospital

pweezy: my parents haven’t been home in like 3 weeks

PatrickStump: PETE GO TO THE DOCTOR ITS BEEN THREE DAYS

pweezy: NO 

pweezy: DOCTORS SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME

brenurine: YOURE GREAT AT HANDSTANDS THOUGH HOW DID YOUR HAND FREAKING BREAK

pweezy: THERE WAS A BEE NEAR ME AND I LOST IT

pweezy: I THINK OTHER PARTS OF MY BODY ARE BROKEN TOO BUT IDK THEY MIGHT BE FROM PAST INJURIES 

mikeyway: oh ffs i’ll march over there and take you to the doctor myself

pweezy: COME OVER HERE AND ILL PUNCH YOU

mikeyway: cool perfect i’ll die in peace

gay way: MICHAEL NO

awg: MOKWU YOU OWE ME

drunkbarakat: MOKWU DJDJJAJDJS IM CRYING

awg: MIKEY DO YOU WANNA FUCKING DIE

mikeyway: yes

awg: yeah good point shouldn’t have used that as a threat

awg: mikey you wanna fucking LIVE

mikeyway: yes.

mikeyway: i 

mikeyway: WHATEVER YOURE NOT GETTING THE FREAKING $12 IM STILL BROKE

mikeyway: I HAVENT GOTTEN A FREAKING JOB YET AND I LITERALLY TURNED 17 A FEW DAYS AGO 

mikeyway: DID ALL OF YOU FORGET THAT BRENDON THREW FREAKING ORANGES AT MY WINDOW

ryro: THAT WAS ICONIC

brenurine: BEST $20 I EVER SPENT

vampireleith: can i add my boyfriend to the chat

brenurine: yes

brenurine: HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND???!

brenurine: SINCE WHEN

vampireleith: since a long time ago but surprise? his name is andy and we started dating like right after i dropped out.

brenurine: oh lmao

brenurine: ANYWAYS ADD HIM IN 

vampireleith added AndrewCTE to the conversation 

brenurine: WELCOME TO HELL

vampireleith: HI THATS BRENDON THIS IS THE CHAT IVE BEEN TELLING YOU ABOUT

AndrewCTE: HI

AndrewCTE: EMERSONS HERE TOO WOW

pirate: yep

frnkiero: IM FRANK HOW DID YOU AND REMINGTON MEET

AndrewCTE: we met online lol. i live in seattle. 

AndrewCTE: he replied to something on twitter and then i dm’d him blah blah blah

brenurine: REMI HAS A TWITTER?!

AndrewCTE: YES

vampireleith: ANDREW VELASQUEZ 

vampireleith: GIVE OUT THE USERNAME AND I WILL BAN YOU

brenurine: and they say romance is dead

vampireleith has removed AndrewCTE from this conversation 

brenurine has added AndrewCTE to the conversation

brenurine: he’s a part of us now. 

mikeyway: pete’s under anesthesia for those that care

mikeyway: also welcome andrew. for the sake of your sanity and well-being, please leave this monstrous chat full of gays.

AndrewCTE: seattle gays are probably worse tbh there’s so much weed in the air.

AndrewCTE: everyone at this school is either high or second-hand high.

tyjo: literally us except it’s cocaine.

tyjo: i had a bag full of baby-powder because drama needed it and the bottle broke and when i brought it out with the principal literally looking at us he didn’t even care

brenurine: hey andrew has remi ever told you the story of how i smashed his ex-best friend’s window?

AndrewCTE: andy* and is this kellin’s window? bc i think so:

AndrewCTE: i wanna hear it from ur perspective

brenurine: OKAY

brenurine: HE AND I WERE WALKING FROM THE GROCERY STORE BACK TO OUR NEIGHBORHOOD

brenurine: US GAYS LIKE TO HANG OUT AT THE GROCERY 

brenurine: THAT DAY I BOUGHT A JUG OF CHOCOLATE MILK AND HEADPHONES

brenurine: REMI GOT ICE CREAM AND BASICALLY ATE HALF OF THE CARTON BEFORE WE PAID FOR IT

vampireleith: IM A SUCKER FOR COOKIE DOUGH ESPECIALLY WHEN IM SAD

brenurine: BUT ANYWAYS

brenurine: WE PASSED BY THE BOSTWICK HOUSE ON THE WAY BACK FROM THE STORE

brenurine: REMINGTON STARTED CRYING AGAIN 

brenurine: SO THEN I WAS LIKE “don’t worry remington, you will find a new best friend, because time will heal a broken heart.”

brenurine: I GOT A FUCKING BRICK FROM THE SIDE OF HIS HOUSE

brenurine: AND YELLED “BUT NOT THAT BITCH’S WINDOW!”

brenurine: AND THEN WE STARTED RUNNING SO FUCKING FAR

brenurine: WE RAN ALL THE WAY TO GERARD AND MIKEYS HOUSE WHICH WAS LIKE AN ENTIRE BLOCK AWAY FROM BOTH REM AND I’S HOUSES

brenurine: GERARD OPENED THE DOOR AND WE WERE JUST LIKE “hide us in your room we’ll be out in an hour.”

gay way: THATS WHAT THAT WAS ALL ABOUT?! 

pirate: KELLIN CAME OVER TO OUR HOUSE AND FUCKING YELLED AT ME FOR WHAT YOU DID THINKING IT WAS ME 

brenurine: oops

PatrickStump: why am i still friends with all of you?

alienjdun: because you’re gay.

PatrickStump: andy here’s a lesson that you’ll learn from this group chat. in life you can do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and the brendon way.

AndrewCTE: isn’t the brendon way just the wrong way?

PatrickStump: it is, but faster.

vampireleith changed their name to vampire

vampire: love u bb

AndrewCTE: you too <3

brenurine: gay

alienjdun: WE ARE GAY SHUT UP


	5. Chapter 5

not awsten: did i ever show u guys how my hair turned out?  
  
underscoregeoff: no?? i’m your boyfriend how could you   
  
not awsten: MY MOM PULLED ME OUT OF SCHOOL AND SHES BEEN MAKING ME RUN ERRANDS ALL WEEK IM SORRY BB   
  
not awsten: ANYWAYS HERES THE FINAL PRODUCT

[awsten with blue hair]

  
not awsten: ALSO IM GROWING OUT MY FREAKING BEARD AND I LOVE IT I LOVE BEING MANLY GOD BLESS TESTOSTERONE BUT FUCK YOU NEEDLES   
  
underscoregeoff: ITS SO CUTE I LOVE U SM WOW   
  
not awsten: THANK YOUUUUU <3   
  
vampire: I LOVE IT   
  
vampire: WHAT A KING   
  
not awsten: REMI ILY   
  
gay way: HOLY FUCK IT LOOKS SO GOOD   
  
not awsten: THANK YOU GEE   
  
drunkbarakat changed his name to JackATL   
  
JackATL: AWSTEN I LOVE IT   
  
not awsten: THANKS   
  
not awsten: OH BEFORE I FORGET OTTO CAN YOU TAKE ME TO THE MALL TOMORROW   
  
otto: we have private conversation ??   
  
otto: and yeah sure.   
  
alienjdun: CAN I COME WITH YOU I NEED TO DO SOMETHING   
  
otto: uh ok   
  
not awsten: YAY   
  
brenurine has removed ryro from the conversation   
  
PatrickStump: good god what happened   
  
brenurine: THATS WHAT HE GETS FOR HANGING UP ON ME   
  
PatrickStump has added ryro to the conversation   
  
ryro: YOU WANTED TO SEE WHO COULD STAY ON THE PHONE THE LONGEST   
  
ryro: AND GIVE ME BACK MY BREADSTICK YOU HEATHEN   
  
ryro: SURRENDER THE BREADSTICK   
  
ryro: [white flag emoji]   
  
ryro: it’s a white flag and you might as well start waving it now   
  
brenurine: THE ONLY THING I’LL BE WAVING IS YOUR DECAPITATED HEAD ON A STICK IN FRONT OF YOUR WEEPING MOTHER!   
  
ryro: good lord.   
  
PatrickStump: who put me in charge i’m not well equipped to handle a gay   
  
PatrickStump: speaking of which, we need a manual on how to take care of a gay   
  
otto: yes please i have to wrangle awsten every ten minutes just to make sure he doesn’t die   
  
not awsten: THATS NOT TRUE   
  
underscoregeoff: sweetie leave the poor boy alone   
  
otto: thank u   
  
frnkiero changed his name to frnk   
  
frnk: WHATS UP BITCHES   
  
gay way: BABY HI   
  
gay way: RETURN MY FUCKING TEXTS   
  
frnk: FINE   
  
not awsten: uh hi since you guys are active can i just tell you something real quick,,   
  
mikeyway: yeah what’s up   
  
not awsten: earlier in the chat i made a joke abt how my mom was gonna sue the school and turns out she really is gonna do that   
  
not awsten: and i’m scared bc i love her sm and i don’t want her to lose a ton of money over this   
  
not awsten: she’s suing them for like 20k   
  
underscoregeoff: i hope she wins the lawsuit omg they treated you horribly also i’m here for u and ilysm everything’s gonna be fine.   
  
not awsten: thank you <3   
  
not awsten: i think the hearing is like next week or something   
  
not awsten: can all of u come with me pls i don’t wanna be alone   
  
otto: yes ofc   
  
mikeyway: definitely   
  
alienjdun: i’ll be there to beat the shit out of them if i have to   
  
not awsten: please don’t but yes ily   
  
vampire: we’ve got ur back i’ll testify too if needed   
  
not awsten: YALL MAKE ME FEEL SO SOFT INSIDE OMG   
  
not awsten: PETE YOU OWE ME FOUR DOLLARS   
  
pweezy: IM BROKE   
  
pweezy: BUT I GOT BANDS   
  
mikeyway: you have four dollars just give awsten the money   
  
mikeyway: what do you need the four bucks for   
  
not awsten: I WANNA BUY MCDONALDS   
  
not awsten: ILL GIVE YOU A BURGER TOO PETE   
  
pweezy: ALRIGHT FINE   
  
pweezy: mikey get the four bucks on top of my cd player   
  
mikeyway: no   
  
pweezy: PLEASE IM LAZY AND YOURE LITERALLY IN MY ROOM   
  
mikeyway: WHATS TAKING YOU SO LONG BITCH I JUST WANT THE SPONGEBOB DVD   
  
pweezy: I CANT FUCKING FIND IT   
  
mikeyway: UGH UR SO USELESS   
  
pirate: hello i just woke up and read all of that and also wow mikey do it for ur bf   
  
mikeyway: HES NOT MY BOYFRIEND


	6. Chapter 6

not awsten: it’s october, y’all know what that means

gay way: https://youtu.be/9DECYte0kZ4

brenurine: my last two brain cells

not awsten: jfjsjdjdj yes obviously that but today’s the hearing 

not awsten: i’m like,, nervous as shit but josh and pete and brendon and remington are gonna back me up so fuck yeah

not awsten: anyways i’ll let u know how everything’s going and let’s hope we don’t get screwed over.

not awsten: legally my name is awsten but you never know what the judge is gonna do or say like he might be a transphobic bigot !

awg: wild

-

not awsten: ok we here

not awsten: pete smashed his phone against a rock and josh doesn’t know how to tie a tie

not awsten: remington might be here idk i haven’t texted him

not awsten: yep he is he’s in the courtroom bye

-

pweezy: update: we’ve all been released and awsten won but he’s gonna be doing online school

awg: neat

awg: can we throw an ice cream party at my house?

JackATL: YES PLEASE

mikeyway: omg yes

gay way: MICHAEL

gay way: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN

mikeyway: with pete

alienjdun: not boyfriends my ass

mikeyway has removed alienjdun from the conversation 

PatrickStump has added alienjdun to the conversation 

PatrickStump: children behave

PatrickStump: besides they’ve been friends for like more than 10 years it’s NORMAL for them to hang out

mikeyway: exactly.

mikeyway: i will date when i’m dead.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi i didn’t die i’m just forgetful as shit and i’ve been busy watching superstore bc it’s a good show that’s not relying on offensive humor

JackATL: everything is garbage.

gay way: big mood.

JackATL: nothing’s going well for me anymore. this morning, my post it notes got sad.

gay way: alex u buttfuck what did u do to him

awg: it wasn’t me i swear

awg: he failed his sat and now he’s having a Crisis

JackATL: i’m a failure at life

gay way: same but ur not 

JackATL: yes i am why didn’t i study more

gay way: well u can always do the act with mikey’s grade?

JackATL: true but who’s to say that i’m not just gonna fail this one

awg: jack bby ilu pls come over

JackATL: okay so what are we going to do today, besides cry

awg: SWIMMING POOL

mikeyway: ITS OCTOBER HAVE FUN FREEZING TO DEATH

awg: oh yes we will

awg: oh shit i just cracked all of my eggs

JackATL: the only crack in my body is the constant cracking of my bones.

mikeyway: big mood

gay way: mikey come home i need Assistance 

mikeyway: no

mikeyway: pete and i are having fun near the lake

[picture of mikey and pete]

awg: YOU AND PETE JSJDJSJSJSJ

awg: BOYFRIENDS

mikeyway: can i not platonically take people on boats?

mikeyway: apparently not

JackATL: crying is too much effort

JackATL: but i’m still gonna do it anyways

JackATL: anyways, i’m gonna go cry in the bathroom. peace out, homies!

awg: JACK NO OMG JUST COME OVER ILL GIVE U ICE CREAM

JackATL: the only worthwhile thing i’ve gone all day is take a buzzfeed quiz about what kind of onion i am.

awg: big mood


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi it's been a hot fucking minute but i'm back now (also there's some drama and tea at the end yeehaw)

not awsten: HAPPY HOMECOMING

alienjdun: wait, that's today?

not awsten: no th0t it's on saturday. today's the first day of spirit week.

alienjdun: whoops.

gay way: speaking of which - FRANK ASK ME OUT ALREADY

frnkiero: NO

mikeyway: y'all are literally dating, isn't it just acknowledged that y'all are going together?

gay way: my dear brother you know me better than that

gay way: i am the most extra bitch™ bitch you will ever meet

PatrickStump: I JUST woke up and this chat is already going off.

not awsten: sorry patrick, just excited. my first hoco with my love ugh! some gay shit right there!

alienjdun: i thought y'all went together last year? 

not awsten: i fell into a lake and couldn't make it.

underscoregeoff: can confirm.

pirate: patrick can you take me to school please?

pirate: remi kicked me when i tried to wake him up.

PatrickStump: Sure.

ryro removed brenurine from the chat

ryro: i have a plan for asking brendon to hoco and i want your opinions

frnkiero: hm?

ryro: y'all band kids help me perform our song while i sing yeehaw

not awsten: YES I LOVE THAT

-

ryro added brenurine to the chat

brenurine: IT WAS AMAZING

brenurine: anyways i love my handsome bf see y'all at hoco

-

dal pal > ryan seaman

dal pal: ryan can i ask you something?

ryan seaman: yeah sure go for it. 

dal pal: is it wrong that i'm jealous that all of our friends get to go to hoco?

dal pal: like don't get me wrong - amelie is the light of my life but i still resent breezy for just dropping this on to me without taking ANY responsibility. SHE'S the one living that perfect cheerleader life now.

ryan seaman: no one saw it coming. i'd be hella jealous of our friends if i was in your position too.

ryan seaman: look, i don't have all the answers but why don't we throw an anti-hoco? for us and amelie?

dal pal: i'd like that a lot. thanks for everything.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm speed uploading these tonight yeehaw
> 
> (also ps, i don't really like debby but you are entitled to your own opinion. please do not bash me or anyone else for theirs
> 
> (also, these chapters are very rushed but that's fine)

pweezy: Y'ALL HOMECOMING WAS FUCKING CRUNK

pweezy: i didn't get drunk but shit went down

frnkiero: JOSH BROUGHT FUCKING TOMATOES AND THREW THEM AT THAT DEBBY BITCH

alienjdun: SHE DESERVED IT

PatrickStump: who corrupted you? all of you?

pweezy: brendon

alienjdun: bren

frnkiero: brendon

PatrickStump: figures

brenurine: Y'ALL ARE WHACK

awg: my body is running away...

PatrickStump: BARAKAT

JackATL: hm

PatrickStump: either stop giving alex alcohol or you take care of him 

JackATL: alright chief

gay way: now that homecoming's over i can legally promote KINKY BOOTS

gay way: starring my baby brother mikey way !!!

mikey way: i hate you so much

gay way: you got this! you're a great charlie price!

brenurine: you're better than i am! break a leg!

-

mikeyway: i'm so nervous

pweezy: you got this <3

brenurine: i-is that a heart?

mikeyway removed brenurine from the chat

ryro added brenurine to the chat

-

dallon: congrats mikey! i really liked the show!

mikeyway: thank you uwu


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i lied when i said i was speed uploading , i got lazy and bored and i ended up watching as it is videos while calling my friend
> 
> stream the great depression on spotify 
> 
> (chapters set in october bc i’m REALLY far behind)
> 
> also whoever runs LookAlive_DeadEyes i love u thank u for being a fan

pweezy: we didn’t order our teletubbie costumes on time and i’m so sad about it

pweezy: halloween is today

not awsten: the actress who played po on teletubbies ended up doing lesbian porn fun fact

awg: thanks i hate it

not awsten: anyways we could go as what we went last year?

mikeyway: oh fuck yeah

alienjdun: i’m surprised you go trick or treating with us every year

mikeyway: just because i’m heartless doesn’t mean i don’t like chocolate

gay way: y’all are forgetting something

gay way: it’s frank’s birthday! he’s a legal adult now!

gay way: unfortunately he’s fucking sick and dead inside.

gay way: but i love him so much i’m so happy that he made it to 18!

gay way: he’s the absolute light of my life.

frnkiero: my immune system is too weak to fight off my smile muscles.

frnkiero: ugh my bb i love u 

gay way: <3

tyjo: we should all just have a halloween/birthday party in frank’s house. wear some masks to protect ourselves from the sickness.

gay way: honestly not a bad idea.

gay way: y’all up for it?

vampire: yee

frnkiero: yee

not awsten: yeehaw

tyjo: yep

-

underscoregeoff removed not awsten from the chat

brenurine: wtf

tyjo: are y’all okay

underscoregeoff: dw it’s a joke. he’ll be back in when he gives me my pants back.

otto added not awsten to the chat

underscoregeoff: dammit otto.

-

dal pal > ryan seaman

ryan seaman: you going?

dal pal: yeah. mom agreed to watch her for the night.

ryan seaman: neat.

ryan seaman: really awkward time to bring this up but breezy talked to me at school yesterday. 

dal pal: wtf why?

dal pal: i thought she’s supposed to stay away from you.

dal pal: especially after she enforced a no interaction agreement?

ryan seaman: beats me.

ryan seaman: she’s moving to florida at the end of the semester and she wants to see amelie before she goes.

dal pal: no, end of discussion.

-

frnkiero: thanks for the best birthday ever yeehaw

not awsten: OF COURSE FRANK YOURE MY FRIEND EVEN ON UR DEATJBED ILL MAKE YOU LAUGH

seaman: it was hella fun even without alcohol and drugs. 

PatrickStump: We remember what happened after /Pete/ gave cocaine to Tyler.

tyjo: will you STOP bringing up the piss incident?

alienjdun: piss incident

tyjo removed alienjdun

brenurine added alienjdun

brenurine: now kiss

awg: goddamnit brendon

awg: @ remington you have my socks please return them.

vampire: hell no, they’re comfy as shit


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my finals are over !! i have a three day weekend and i’ll try to update as much as i can while working on some other writing projects.

pweezy: that guy got fucking expelled holy shit

pweezy: i don’t even remember his name but he got fucking expelled so now someone needs to take over the school

tyjo: mayhaps i’ll run

PatrickStump: I might consider..

dallon: i’ll be ecstatic if you do!!

dallon: it’ll be hard to cast a vote but i’ll definitely support the both of you

andyleo: you have my support from seattle!!

brenurine: ANDY MY MAN

brenurine: I HAVE SOME TEA FOR YOU

vampire: brendon nO

brenurine: BRENDON YES

brenurine: remington was high as FUCK

brenurine: and we were at this gucci ass mall that every rich kid knows about

brenurine: pete’s a rich boy so he took us there with like,,, tyler and emerson and alex

brenurine: idk this gc is so overloaded i forget who’s in or not

brenurine: ANYWAYS

pirate: WAIT BREN LET ME TELL IT

andyleo: EMERSON !!!

pirate: YEEHAW ANDY

pirate: ok anyways this bitch is so fucking high and we’re all at the mall

pirate: hot topic specifically bc emo culture

awg: OH SHIT THIS STORY

awg: WE RAN INTO BITCHASS KELLIN QUINN

vampire: STOP I’M SO EMBARRASSED

brenurine: REMINGTON FUCKING NYOOMS OUT OF HOT TOPIC WHERE HE CRASHES RIGHT INTO HIM

awg: kellin was in the middle of a phone call with his boyfriend (big yikes) and then he’s like “i’ll call you back, love.”

pirate: my dumbass brother goes “feel free not to”

brenurine: HAHAHAHAHAH

pweezy: OH DUDE REMINGTON GOT HIS ASS KICKED

pirate: he’s at home recovering rip

pweezy: if he still wants his merch i can stop by :))

vampire: yes please

andyleo: WHAT THE FUCK BABE

vampire: my sass got me in trouble again

andyleo: feel better soon love <3

-

PatrickStump: How’s my sign? [image]

pweezy: iconic

pweezy: best campaign

tyjo: hmmm [image]

dallon: i like patrick’s idea more

tyjo: time for world war three stump

JackATL: the world had a war??

PatrickStump: How did you make it to senior year again?

PatrickStump: Anyways tyler if you win i’ll be supportive of you

tyjo: LIES

tyjo: you want that for yourself to get into harvard

PatrickStump: I’m not going to harvard though???

tyjo: whatever

PatrickStump: I don’t appreciate this, I thought we were friends??

tyjo left the chat

andyleo: oh shit

JackATL: tyler’s being a cunt okay cool

alienjdun: idk man

brenurine: big yikes

brenurine: good luck patrick !!


	12. Chapter 12

PatrickStump: I won the election, what the heck

brenurine: people love you. prepare for epicness

dallon: congrats!

ryro: yay patrick!

alienjdun: v happy for you!

alienjdun: tyler wants to apologize, i’m adding him back

tyjo was added to the chat

tyjo: sorry for being a dick, i just got jealous

PatrickStump: It’s fine, it’s all in the past.

pweezy: celebration at my place?

vampire: if i wasn’t still in pain i’d go?

andyleo: it’s been a week wtf go to to the doctor

pirate: he hates doctors, press f.

gay way: holy shit i found my phone finally 

frnkiero: i don’t get how you lost your phone for like an entire week wtf

gay way: magic

gay way 2.0 was added to the chat

gay way: just my ipod incase it happens again

not awsten: i hate that

gay way: fuck you bleach boy

not awsten: HAHA asswipe i like being called bleach boy

not awsten changed his name to bleach boy

underscoregeoff: what the fuck

bleach boy: it’s fucking sadness

tyjo: i think it suits you

PatrickStump: Awsten, why?

pweezy: DRINK BLEACH BITCHES

mikeyway: PETE NO

pweezy: PETE YES

bleach boy: BLEACH GANG FOREVER

vampire: FUCK YEAH

PatrickStump: This chat is a NIGHTMARE

bleach boy: BLEACH GANG

pirate: take a shot everytime “bleach” is said

underscoregeoff: *dies instantly*

underscoregeoff: oh god he wants to bleach pete’s hair

vampire: THATS SO CURSED AWSTEN NO

bleach boy: :)))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aws doesn’t actually bleach pete’s hair, he bleaches his own but everyone believes it’s pete until pete goes to school w the same black emo fringe


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hMM some drama abt breezy
> 
> (i don't have anything against her lmao)
> 
> (in the words of dallon weekes, a story is a story)

dallon: i can't believe i'd ever have to say this but

dallon: pete give me your strongest alcohol

tyjo: oh boy

vampire: THAT SHIT FUCKS YOU UP DALLON NO

PatrickStump: My dude, are you okay?

seaman: breezy's been trying to get dallon to let her see amelie before she leaves for florida but he's NOT HAVING IT

dallon: i told you i didn't wanna see her BUT SHE'S ON HER FUCKING WAY

dallon: amelie is asleep though

seaman: that's exactly why you shouldn't get drunk, dallon pls don't do this

dallon: FUCK SHE'S OUTSIDE MY HOUSE

vampire: i'm lost wtf happened with you two

dallon: tldr; the condom broke and then breezy didn't want her and she was too far along

dallon: I HAVE A BOWL IN MY HAND

seaman: DALLON WHAT IS HAPPENING TO YOU

dallon: THAT BITCH ISN'T WELCOME HERE

seaman: a civil conversation won't hurt??

dallon removed seaman from the chat

PatrickStump: Are you okay?

dallon: as previously established, no i am not

-

seaman was added to the chat

dallon: update: my mom has successfully removed her from my household

dallon: she doesn't like her very much because i tell her everything

vampire: lesson one. don't ever fuck with dallon weekes and his mom

dallon: exactly


	14. Chapter 14

bleach boy: good morning th0ts

bleach boy: i DO NOT want to go to the school to resolve my issue with k*llin

vampire: IS IT ABOUT THAT GROUP PROJECT THAT YOU WERE TAKEN OUT OF BC YOU TRANSFERRED OUT

bleach boy: YEAH MY DUDE I FUCKING HATE HIM

vampire: LET'S DRINK TO THAT

brenurine: did he call you j*lia again too bc i stg i'll fight him

bleach boy: YES HE DID 

brenurine: FUCK MISS ME WITH THAT BULLSHIT OMG REMI COME HELP ME FIGHT YOUR EX

vampire: ON IT

pirate: WAIT LET ME JOIN

underscoregeoff: ME TOO HE HURT MY BABY

andyleo: I'LL BE FIGHTING IN SPIRIT BC SEATTLE IS TOO FAR AWAY

-

frnkiero: HOLY FUCK I HOPE I'M NOT TOO LATE

bleach boy: NO WE'RE NOT WE'RE GOING AFTER EMERSON'S DRIVER'S ED ENDS

frnkiero: ALRIGHT 

frnkiero: GEE MIKEY COME JOIN US 

gay way: ON IT

-

bleach boy: tldr for anyone that didn't show up: frank kicked kellin in the balls, brendon spray painted 'cunt' on his wall and gerard and mikey trashed his car while remington, emerson, geoff, and i all went and took turns beating him up but rem ended up having to go to the hospital after more injuries added on to the first fight :))

PatrickStump: Remington, why?

vampire: bc k*llin is a little bitch


	15. Chapter 15

brenurine: yo i got unexpelled

brenurine: turns out ryan has relatives higher than the school board

ryro: they fired our principal yeehaw

PatrickStump: I thought it was an expulsion?

brenurine: same diff

brenurine: unfortunately i have all f's and i can't graduate

brenurine: i'm gonna finish the school year and then finish my diploma at the community college because there are just way too many credits yikes

brenurine: i really fucked around in high school and expected shit to not happen

PatrickStump: how many do you need?

brenurine: sixteen

Patrick: Brendon, I'm saying this as a friend- your future isn't going anywhere

brenurine: not surprised.

ryro: good luck love

brenurine: hhhhhhhh thank you uwu


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven't added some of the characters in the tags yet and some of the ships aren't gonna be there for like a hot minute but it's okay they'll be there at some point
> 
> also remington leith and andy leo are a God Tier Ship their twitter interactions are so funny wow

brenurine: [image]

brenurine: they're at a coffee shop and pete just grabbed mikey's hand

ryro: i'm w bren and i just heard mikey say "don't look at me like that and then feign innocence" in like,,, not a sarcasting and annoying tone holy shit what kind of simulation

bleach boy: NOT BOYFRIENDS MY ASS

gay way: THAT IS NOT MY FUCKING BROTHER WOW

ryro: MIKEY JUST CHECKED HIS PHONE HOLY SHIT BRENDON YOU BITCH RUN

brenurine: I AM THOT

mikeyway: just to clarify, WE ARE NOT DATING GO FOCUS ON PETE'S DICK PIC FROM FRESHMAN YEAR

pweezy: YEAH THOTS

-

alienjdun: so i accidentally crashed into someone's car

tyjo: YOU WERE BACKING UP AND NOT LOOKING BEHIND YOU

awg: WAIT THAT WAS YOU

awg: MY FRIENDS AND I WERE IN THAT CAR

awg: HOLD ON I'LL ADD THEM 

zmerrick and dawson were added to the chat

zmerrick: wtf alex

awg: welcome to my gay squad- someone wants to apologize

alienjdun: sorry for crashing my only excuse is that i'm gay

dawson: i'm not mad but zack is.

zmerrick: if you can pay for the damages i'll be fine

alienjdun: i'll empty my piggy bank

tyjo: i can pay too if needed my boyfriend is also a broke dumbass

andyleo: yo speaking of driving- it's expensive to break the law in washington

andyleo: i got a ticket for speeding and now my mom might not let me drive over there for christmas break

vampire: wait what

andyleo: HOLY FUCK THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SURPRISE

vampire: BABE I'M GONNA CRY

andyleo: I WANNA SEE YOUR FUCKING FACE BITCH

vampire: BITCH


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m only uploading bc my semester hasn’t started yet yeehaw. once the semester starts i’ll try to do one a week
> 
> also- i have social media if any of y’all wanna be friends :)
> 
> twitter/twotonques  
> tumblr/houseofwolveslive

JackATL: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BOYFRIEND

awg: UWU

awg: I’M 18 NOW

pirate: happy birthday alex !! 

awg: thank you, now tell your brother to return my socks

vampire: no

awg: SHITHEAD

awg: i just realized i can now drive in the middle of the night yeehaw

PatrickStump: Don’t do anything stupid, Pete almost ran someone over the other day.

pweezy: THE KID RAN RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME

pweezy: i have his kik i’ll just apologize

trohman was added to the chat

PatrickStump: How do you have his kik?

pweezy: i know these things

trohman: i’m adding my boyfriend

xvx was added to the chat

xvx: joe wth

pweezy: sorry for almost killing you joe

trohman: eh idc if i die or not

bleach boy: LET’S DRINK TO THAT

awg: JOE ANDY

awg: HI THOTS

trohman: ALEX MY DUDE

awg: ALL OF YOU COME OVER IM HAVING A LAST MINUTE PARTY

pweezy: FUCK YEAH


	18. Chapter 18

andyleo: school just got out for the next three weeks yeehaw

andyleo: i’m gonna be there at 4 ish yeehaw bc my dumbass forgot to pack

vampire: IM GONNA FUCKING CRY

andyleo: i gotta go now but ilysm <3

vampire: <3

-

andy leo > emerson

andy leo: i lied i didn’t go to school today bc my mom didn’t care

andy leo: anyways i’m in portland what class is remington in

emerson: HE’S IN ENGLISH HAHA

andy leo: THANK

-

alienjdun: i can hear remington screaming is he okay

pirate: yeah uH andy surprised him 

vampire: IM LOSING MY SHIT RIGHT NOW

andyleo: hehe love u <3

vampire: <3

brenurine: GAY

ryro: BRENDON WE’RE ALL GAY


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmm some drama w ryan and dallon

bleach boy: uwu what’s up

underscoregeoff: why are we dating

bleach boy: u love me

underscoregeoff: hmm true

dallon: i got a boyfriend yeehaw

seaman: i’m your best friend this is homophobic??

dallon: eh

JackATL: CONGRATS MY DUDE

dallon: thank you!

-

dal pal > ryan seaman

ryan seaman: i’m mad that you didn’t tell your own best friend about your new boyfriend

dal pal: i’m sorry??

ryan seaman: what’s his name?

dallon: kieran

dallon: he doesn’t go to school here

ryan seaman: see, you didn’t even tell me who he is while he was your friend

ryan seaman: i thought we’re supposed to tell each other everything 

dal pal: i said i’m sorry

dal pal: we haven’t really known each other for long anyways

ryan seaman: i hope he treats you well

dal pal: you’re acting weird, what’s going on?

ryan seaman: it’s nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kieran is a random name lmao


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: a suicide joke this chapter isn’t realy relevant anyways

brenurine: YO IM HAVING A CHRISTMAS PARTY

awg: DAMMIT BRENDON IM IN MARYLAND

brenurine: FUCKER

vampire: ANDY WHERE ARE YOU

andyleo: PANCAKES WITH EMERSON BC YOU DIDNT GET OUT OF BED

vampire: FAKES

andyleo: IM SORRY 

pweezy: help i’m stuck in a creepy old sex van i want death

mikeyway: me too but it’s ur fault

frnkiero: SHUT UP YOU TWO WE CAN KILL OURSELVES WHEN WE GET HOME

gay way: how the fuck-

mikeyway: y’all know i’m an idiot and a pushover whenever pete asks me for shit

mikeyway: see y’all at the party


	21. Chapter 21

tyjo: gerard has bright red hair i am concerned

gay way: IT’S FOR MY CHARACTER

gay way: 2019 BITCHES

tyjo: NO OFFENSE BUT ITS UGLY

gay way: FUCK YOU

andyleo: I MISS ALL OF YOU I DONT WANNA BE IN SEATTLE

gay way: thats so sad alexa play despacito

vampire: GEE COME FIGHT ME THATS MY BOYFRIEND


	22. Chapter 22

tyjo: someone locked josh and i in here while we were studying for our calc final uH

bleach boy: ARE Y’ALL OKAY

pweezy: I HAVE A SAW

PatrickStump: PETE NO

pweezy: TOO LATE IM RUNNING

alienjdun: he just used the saw to break the glass

PatrickStump: This is why we don’t let you do things, Pete.

pweezy: :(


	23. Chapter 23

underscoregeoff: it’s my lovely boyfriend’s 18th birthday !!

underscoregeoff: he’s undergoing top surgery in august i’m PROUD

bleach boy: THOT DONT MAKE ME CRY

underscoregeoff: SORRY BABE

otto: HAP BIRTH AWS

bleach boy: THANKS THOT

dallon: happy birthday!!

bleach boy: I LOVE ALL OF YOU SO MUCH IM A SOFT MAN

bleach boy: HOLY FUCK IM A MAN NOW

brenurine: HELL YEAH MY MAN

-

Josh Dun sent an image to Private Chat

Gerard Way: is that mikey and pete

Frank Iero: HOLY FUCK

Brendon Urie: time for some BETS

Alex Gaskarth: 20 that they’ll tell me first

Brendon Urie: i’m pete’s best friend. 30

Awsten Knight: 15

Frank Iero: 10

Remington Leith: 5 bc i’m a broke dropout

Andy Leo: none bc paypal is a bitch

Josh Dun: HAHA FUCKERS I BET 50 BC IM SPECIAL

Gerard Way: whatever helps you sleep at night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what could the picture be about 👀


	24. Chapter 24

pweezy: i just slept for seven hours and that’s twice as long as i normally sleep so i’m disoriented

awg: i’m surprised you actually got sleep?? finals are today my dude

pweezy: my classes are easy

PatrickStump: You have 3 F’s??

pweezy: i only do the easy stuff 😎

brenurine: i’m gonne fail my ap gov final which means my hard work to get my grade to a D+ is gonna go down the drain

PatrickStump: This is why you DON’T sign up for hard classes. Good luck to the rest of you.

mikeyway: my trig final is today hhh

pweezy: you’ll do fine :)

mikeyway: :)

-

brenurine: update/ i didn’t actually fail and now my grade is a C-

PatrickStump: I got a B on it and surprisingly my grade is still A

bleach boy: UR SO SMART

bleach boy: i already did my finals on the online program hehe

bleach boy: i got all a’s 

brenurine: lucky thots

brenurine: it’s okay though, i grew up forging report cards- i can easily forge my transcript.

ryro: brendon no


	25. Chapter 25

JackATL: GUYS

awg: WE’RE MARRIED

brenurine: CONGRATS

JackATL: IM SO HUNGOVER

JackATL: this floor is my friend

PatrickStump: You’ve spent $1,000 on waffles alone, I’m not surprised that you got married at seventeen while drunk.

awg: WE GOT DRUNK BC WE WANTED TO CELEBRATE THE END OF FINALS

JackATL: it’s okay bc i love my husband uwu

seaman: wish i could relate

seaman: my crush is literally dating someone else

brenurine: damn, sorry ry

ryro: when are we gonna get married bren >:(

ryro: jk, i’m happy for jack and alex though


	26. Chapter 26

gay way: GUYS THERES A NEW KID AND THEYRE EMO AND EDGY AND ALSO LGBT

awg: OH I KNOW THEM I THOUGHT THEY WERE LIKE AN EDGY HET BUT THEN I SAW THEIR BACKPACK PIN IN ENGLISH AND WAS LIKE FUCK YEAH

awg: THEY GOT FUCKING DEADNAMED THO AND I WANTED TO YELL

gay way: THEIR NAME IS PATTY

awg: YEAH THAT ONE

PatrickStump: For the love of god, do not corrupt them

gay way: TOO LATE THEYRE SITTING AT MY TABLE AND THEYRE ON THEIR LAPTOP

bleach boy: OH I KNOW PATTY WE LIVE IN THE SAME NEIGHBORHOOD 

gay way: neat !! (also they keep getting deadnamed aws help how do i comfort a trans person)

bleach boy: YELL

alienjdun: my phone’s working for once

alienjdun: i just punched a dude for calling patty their old name 

tyjo: josh i can hear you loud and clear im right next door

gay way: I GOT THEIR KIK

pattyxwalters was added to the chat

pattyxwalters: hello!!

bleach boy: PATTY ITS ME AWSTEN UR GONNA LOVE IT HERE

pattyxwalters: HI AWS I SURE HOPE SO


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man school can suck my whole dick

gay way: yo uh i have a dilemma

bleach boy: what’s up?

gay: so like i might be trans but idk

bleach boy: you don’t have to know rn

frnkiero: i support you <3

gay way: thank you <3

gay way: anyways i wanna go by gee, they/them for a bit

PatrickStump: We love you, Gee!

brenurine: !!!

pattyxwalters: i’m late but i support u

gay way: i’m gonna cry i love all of u sm


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooh tea

dallon: yo my dudes, boys suck

brenurine: amen sister

brenurine: you okay?

dallon: kieran found out that i used to be with breezy and he claimed that i’m not really gay

dallon: i’m bi but like go off

brenurine: IM BEATING HIM

dallon: glad i never told him about amelie at least

seaman: sounds like a fucking cunt

dallon: i CANNOT deal with you today

dallon left the chat

gay way: oh damn

gay way: on other news did y’all see how mikey and pete ran out of that closet after 3rd?

PatrickStump: Gee, that’s your brother

gay way: SHUT UP

mikeyway: WERE NOT DATING OH MY GOD WE WERE LOOKING FOR PETES NOTEBOOK

pweezy: YEAH

brenurine: AND I HAVE A SEVEN FOOT PENIS BUT OKAY

-

PatrickStump to “we told you bc no one suspects us to tell you”

PatrickStump: You do realize I can’t hold this ruse forever??

petey boi: we like fucking with them

moikey: we really do

PatrickStump: Suit yourselves.


End file.
